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Conflict is a part of everyone’s life. They will happen to you eventually, and often when you least expect them. They may not be not pleasant, but they are something that you must deal with. Thankfully, there are a number of steps you can take to minimize the impact of these conflicts:


  1. Don’t let a conflict build
    Many people are afraid to confront the people causing the conflict in their life. In most cases, this will cause the situation to get much worse. The people causing conflicts will continue to act in this manner and may even get worse. When they find you won’t do anything about it, they have the upper hand.
  2. Discuss the conflict with the person or people who caused it
    Try to speak with the person in private. Keeping the conversation private will make sure that you aren’t airing anyone’s dirty laundry. By keeping the meeting to yourselves, the person in conflict will be more willing to speak freely and discuss the situation.
  3. Take a break if the situation gets heated
    Situations are less likely to be resolved when all the parties involved are screaming at each other. Therefore, when emotions start to elevate, schedule a follow-up This won’t always be possible as some situations need to be resolved immediately, but for heated situations that don’t require this, try to postpone the meeting.
  4. Structure a win-win when possible
    Try to offer solutions where everyone wins. If that’s not possible, then find solutions that are satisfactory to everyone involved. It may not be perfect. But, if everyone goes away with something, they can feel victorious.
  5. Don’t get personal
    Unless the conflict concerns someone getting personal with you, try not to get personal with other people. Conflict often arises because of certain situations that are separate from one’s personality. By staying away from getting personal, the exchange will less likely get heated.
  6. Don’t jump to conclusions
    Ask questions to learn what motivated people to engage in the conflict. This can often bring to light reasons that are valid. It could also be that those who created the conflict did so without a full understanding of the situation. Asking questions can help everyone figure out where they actually stand.
  7. Don’t blindly accept what onlookers say about the situation
    When others are observing a situation but are not directly involved, they may not get their facts straight. Therefore, be cautious about the information you gather from the onlookers. The information can be considered, but don’t jump to conclusions. The people causing the conflict need to be heard as well.




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Join an adult debate club. There are several debate clubs available for adults. You can look online or find some clubs on When you learn how to debate, you will get better at resolving conflicts. You’ll need to attend meetings as often as possible. Like anything else, it takes practice.





Read one book per month on how to resolve conflicts. You can expand your selection of books to profiles of people who were expert at this activity. The more information you learn from it, the better you will be when situations arise. You can use the readings as an encyclopedia of solutions when the situations are similar to what you’ve read.


Take an online course on negotiation. This is going to be a crucial skill when trying to resolve conflicts. It’s a skill that can serve you well in other areas, too. You can find them online with TED talks or YouTube videos. Free videos may be available on and other instructional websites as well.




Dorothy Biagioni

Premier Life Coach

Transformational & Empowerment Leader

Certified Hypnotherapist

Keynote Speaker and Presenter

Sessions are offered via Skype, Facetime, Google Duo, Zoom, WhatsApp and Phone