Skip to main content

The  Dangers  Of  Comparing  Yourself  To  Others

How many times a day do you compare yourself to others? We do it in our careers. We do it with our family or friends, and on occasion, we even compare ourselves to complete strangers. There are some positive aspects of comparing yourself others. It can motivate you to go back to school and earn a different degree. It can also propel you to apply for a better job or look for ways to become a better person.

Unfortunately, there are real dangers in comparing yourself to others in life. Comparing who you are with others can trigger negative emotions and actions. You probably have experienced some of the following of these feelings:

  • Resentment
  • Jealousy
  • Envy
  • Obsession
  • Self-hate

Social media platforms continue to propel this constant need in many of us to compare ourselves with others. While the intention of many of these tools is to allow us to keep up with what others are doing, it is generating some negative feelings or in some instances a sense of lacking.

You have to remember that while comparing yourself to others may be natural but allowing it to make you feel inferior will not yield a positive outcome. Instead, this act of comparison may even serve as an impediment that keeps you from actually living your life to its fullest.

You must learn to set yourself free from the bonds of comparison. We are all different, and thus, you have to make allowances for these differences.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself with Others

We have established that there is no real benefit in comparing yourself with others, but you probably have one lingering question. What can you do to stop comparing yourself to others?

Be Thankful for Your Strengths and What You Have

Look for ways to be thankful for all that you have and what you are good at doing. Our minds are easily swayed to identify all of the negatives that surround us in life, but we have to practice giving thanks for all of the things we do well or often take for granted.

For example, learn to give thanks for the job you do have, the home or space in which you reside, and the fact that you know where your next meal is coming from later this evening or first thing tomorrow morning.

Look for Ways to Gift Others with Your Life’s Purpose

What are you doing with your life’s purpose? Are you using it to serve yourself? How are you using it to help others? Knowing your life’s purpose and using it to positively affect others can be life-changing.

Not only does the other person benefit from your strengths and willingness to give something of yourself to help them but you too can internally experience a significant boost of self-esteem and self-worth for fulfilling someone else’s needs.

Practice Self-Evaluation and Self-Awareness, Not Self-Depreciation Behaviors

Rather than comparing yourself with others, start practicing self-evaluation. Allow yourself to be the standard or metric to exceed. It’s easy to compare ourselves with others and strive to be something we are not. It’s an instinct.

Somewhere deep inside of our minds, we think it’s okay to allow that person to be our standard. However, challenge yourself to buck that trend. Do not permit yourself to make someone else your standard for success. It can lead to a severe blow to your self-esteem and derail you from navigating your own life’s journey.

Do not mistake this piece of advice for saying you should not appreciate what someone else has achieved for their life or even find a bit of inspiration, but you should make every effort not to define your successes or failures by an idea or image of what someone else is projecting.

Perfection is Not a Must-Have

Remember that life is not always about perfection. Being perfect at everything you do often happen by chance. Learn to appreciate the things that work out well and learn from your mistakes.

In Summary

In summary, look for ways to change your mantra and use yourself as a baseline or metric. Find your purpose and use it to serve yourself and others in life. When you do compare yourself to others, look for inspiration and motivation.


Dorothy Biagioni

Executive Business and Life Coach

Premier Life Coach

Personal Development Coach


Transformational & Empowerment Leader

Certified Hypnotherapist

Keynote Speaker and Presenter


Sessions are offered via Skype, Facetime, Zoom, Google Duo, WhatsApp and Phone.

Group Sessions are offered via Zoom or in person.

Online ecourses and ebooks: